Hymen Talk

Hymenal checks seem to have become a standard operating procedure for parents who find it hard to accept and believe that their teenage daughter already had sex with a boyfriend.  Why? Because the hymen has been equated to virginity since time immemorial.  But, just because the police say it, tv show dialogues express it and even some doctors also acknowledge this, it really does not mean that is true.

Different Shapes of the Hymen (image c/o soc.ucsb.edu)

                The hymen is a very pliable membrane in spite of being very thin.  It does not cover the entrance to one’s vagina, because if it does, the condition is called having an “Imperforate Hymen” and menstruation will not happen because blood from the uterus cannot go out which could lead to infection and other complications.  Instead, it borders the vaginal orifice and its shape, color and thickness may vary depending on the age of the person.  It is elastic and it can regenerate or heal to the point of looking very normal again, especially in females who are in their pre-teen and teen years.  It is even possible that those who have been pregnant and given birth will have a normal hymen.  Thus, it is also possible that a teenager who has had sex will not manifest any signs, especially if the act was deliberate and the partner was very careful not to hurt or injure the female. 

                Which brings me to another point, virginity does not rest on the character of the hymen—being whole, unbroken, etc.  It is something within the person, meaning it is an emotional and a psychological concept that cannot be taken away by just having engaged in sexual act.  It is something that is willfully given to another person out of love, and it cannot be forcefully removed from a person, especially in cases of sexual abuse and rape. 

                “Nabasag ang hymen”, “Na-devirginize”, “Positive Hymen” – these phrases along with performing hymenal checks in every teen that engages in sex connote that the hymen somehow determines one’s fate and one’s reputation rest solely on such a very unreliable membrane.  Instead of forcing teen girls to undergo such a traumatic procedure, parents should learn to communicate with their daughters better.  They should also teach their children about what it means to be a teenager, the bodily changes that their children should expect to happen and of course, sex.  Knowledge and communication are protection against early teen sex, teen pregnancy, sexual abuse and sexually transmitted illnesses.  Lastly, the hymen is not the seat of virginity as it truly lies in one’s heart and mind.